Well, I’ve gone and done it now.

If you’ve followed the saga on Facebook, I’ve spent the last couple of weeks poking fun at cheesy Christmas romance movies, especially in the wake of Netflix taking potshots at its users on Twitter.

Well, as these things often go, one thing led to another, and I threw down a gauntlet on social media: if a particular post got 30 reactions (which isn’t a high number to you kids and/or successful personalities out there…normally I only break 30 when my wife gives birth) I would agree to write a romance novel (cheesy or otherwise) under a female pen name, and publish it.

With a few hours left to go, it didn’t look like it was going to happen. Then a few of my friends (Jared, Dennis, TJ) shared the post and the pace picked up dramatically. The threshold was reached, shattered, and mocked to ashes.

And so, here we are.

I could take the easy way out and say, “The point is to write a romance novel under a pen name in such a way that you’ll never know it was me.” Thus, I could lie to you, and say at any point that I wrote the novel, published it, made money off of it, and will never tell you The Pen Name.

But I won’t do that. Because that’s a turd thing to do.

THUS. I am establishing some ground rules for this effort, and you’ll just have to take them at face value, until such time as someone–anyone–reads the book and figures out that I wrote it.

Here we go.

RULE THE FIRST: I will write and submit a draft of the book to a publisher this year. I have a few in mind. They will probably be small presses.

RULE THE SECOND: Once the book is published, I will add it to my Goodreads list of books I have read. Note that I will read a lot more romance this coming year, both to prepare myself for writing this, as well as to throw you off the scent. I will keep doing this until the book is published. (Which might not be 2018, to be fair.)

RULE THE THIRD: I will tell only my wife and any potential editors the pen name I come up with. It will not be derived from any family names in my tree (that I know of), nor will it be any female character names I have used in published novels.

Note that I will not post any updates about this in real-time. I will, however, make a Facebook page, a Goodreads profile, a blog, and an email address under the false persona. The hard part will be finding someone willing to sacrifice their face to this endeavor, should it become necessary.

Nevertheless, I will persisted.

(DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE)

2 thoughts on “Well, I’ve gone and done it now.

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