BREAKING: Beets taste like dirt

And they always have.

For serious though, I’m shoving more vegetable smoothies down my gullet to crush my hunger cravings and prevent me from eating soy-infused corn sold by truck stops. I desire to once more weigh 180 lbs.

I deserve this suffering for the money I have spent ingesting food unfit for the body my Woad ancestors bestowed upon me. I shall report further.

Like this post if you want me to share my daily weight on the bathroom scale when I wake up.